Get your mum coasters instead of tat this year
9-5-2025
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
I typed Mother’s Day into the search bar, filtered out 1,000,000 flowers and was gobsmacked. The world of thoughtless gifts is a dark place.
As a child, I was terrible at arts and crafts, and I still am today. I don’t enjoy writing cards, either. So as soon as I hit puberty and had a little money of my own, I turned to generic gifts. Think ugly candles, cheap vases, useless dust catchers. All of which my parents grinned and bore. They even managed to conjure up some genuine joy at the gesture and keep any turning up of noses to a minimum after unpacking the latest atrocity I’d got them.
Avoid this at all cost
Now that I’m older and wiser and have two children of my own, I know that parents prefer a big hug to any material last-minute rubbish with «Mummy» or «Daddy» printed on it. To prevent damage caused to mothers or walls, I’ve only linked products that won’t be delivered by Mother’s Day.
Why should you have to put up with «Super Mama» sprawled all over your wall? You can’t even hide this kind of XXL cheese in a drawer or cupboard. And let’s be honest, tacky presents just end up in the rubbish in the end. Unlike handmade things that are cherished forever and are brought out of the drawer even decades later.
Source: Shutterstock/Joanna Dorota
Mum’s burnt out
If mum’s so unique, then why get her a generic gift? Cut that heart out yourself! Make her breakfast! Light a few candles! But maybe not the one that says, «Well done mum, I turned out great.»
These would definitely have made my shortlist when I was 13. At that age, my logic was: «If I think it’s funny, mum will love it!» Such a rookie mistake. Making it about yourself stinks even if it comes in a pretty box. Even if it’s a scented candle.
Fortunately, Chatty Candles come with a health warning: «May cause allergic skin reactions.» And, depending on what’s printed on them, they might induce nausea, too. At least they don’t last forever.
Mums who receive this kind of gift will just have to hope the candle burns down quickly. And that their children pick out something more original next year instead of falling for mummy marketing.
Source: Shutterstock/PhotographyByMK
The tricks of mummy marketing
The strategy’s pretty straightforward. All these mum products are aimed at individuals who are either too lazy, too cool or too insecure to write a few heartfelt lines or reach for the craft scissors. And even if you do give in to buying something, at least attach a wee thank you card to a bunch of flowers.
Honestly, mass-produced gifts that rave about how unique mum is are downright cynical. The only reason this tat exists is because the person giving the gift wants to spare themselves the embarrassment of finding the right words to say. A prime example is «Best mum of all».
This gift is a safe bet if its description is to be believed: «Atmospheric photographs and illustrations including emotional statements and quotes that make every mum’s skip a beat.» Looks like a pot of cream to me. And the pictures show examples of quotes I’d like to talk about.
Uniquely predictable
Unique and irreplaceable? That certainly applies to mum. But not to this sentence. Frankly, it doesn’t stand a chance against a smile, a hug or a «Thank you, mum». Well, at least it directly addresses the recipient. That’s more than you can say of the second example.
Infinitely generic
What does infinite even mean? Loosely based on Einstein (possibly) the universe – and human stupidity. That’s why it would be pretty stupid to send your mother such an unspecific message. A handwritten «I’m infinitely grateful to you for ... [insert what comes to mind]» is enough, and you’ve already greatly improved it.
So vague
Again, the slogan is vague. In fact, it’s even unclear if your mother is one of these «Some people» or just a regular one. No wonder. It’s not like the gift knows your mum. But you do. And you know what makes her so special. Her zest for life, her warmth, her first serve at tennis.
You don’t need a prefab card or Mother’s Day to tell her. The message will always be happily received. My guess is that if you arm yourself with 100 coasters, a few pens and invest 30 minutes of your time, you’re more likely to move mum to tears than any anything search terms including «Mother’s Day», «mum gift» or «mummy» will come up with.
Pens
Quantity discount
EUR11,69
Schneider Rollerball Paint-it
Metallic Copper, vintage green metallic, vintage red metallic, Silver Metallic, polar blue metallic, frosted violet metallic, Rose Metallic, gold metallic, 8 x
P.S.: Mum, if you’re reading this: would you like a bunch of flowers for Mother’s Day? Or are you out of candles? And sorry about the coffee machine.
Michael Restin
Senior Editor
Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.chSimple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.
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