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by Domagoj Belancic
The secret of Alan Smithee: Hollywood’s most successful phantom
23-8-2024
Translation: Megan Cornish
Steven Spielberg, Ridley Scott, Quentin Tarantino – there are plenty of directors who are more famous and successful than Alan Smithee. When it comes to productivity, however, no one can beat him, and there are good reasons for that.
«It’s so good I put my name on it!» Former boxer George Foreman’s move into kitchen appliances in the 1990s with the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine gained traction thanks to his enthusiastic ads and catchy slogan. The big hitter’s endorsement implies quality. But there’s at least one name in Hollywood that stands for the opposite: Alan Smithee. If you see this name in the credits, there’s a pretty good chance that the film is terrible.
Then there are films that are so bad they’re irredeemable, and even the director doesn’t want their name on them. In these cases, Alan Smithee is happy to take on the role of scapegoat. That’s no problem for him, because Alan is the human equivalent of Teflon. Malice and criticism simply roll off him, he stubbornly and unwaveringly follows his path of questionable films and cuts.
This Italian parody of Avatar from 2023 is also the work of Alan Smithee.
You see, Alan Smithee is multi-talented. A jack of all trades. If not a universal genius – and one who’s been in the film business for ages. Longer than Steven Spielberg, for example. But do you know what the craziest thing about Alan Smithee is?
He’s never existed.
It was a dilemma, because the Directors Guild of America (DGA) wanted the director – as the driving creative force of a film – to be listed in the credits. So, the US directors’ union advised the use of a pseudonym, contrary to its previous guidelines.
Allen Smithee was born – later changed to Alan Smithee. Since word didn’t spread as quickly back then as it does today, the name was actually taken at face value. For example, film critic Roger Ebert wrote favourably in his review of Death of a Gunfighter:
Director Allen Smithee, a name I'm not familiar with, allows his story to unfold naturally.
Why Alan Smithee? Because the name is unique and yet inconspicuous, says the DGA. In addition, there’s not much likelihood of it being confused with a real name. The rumour that Alan Smithee is just an anagram for The Alias Men has been around for decades. The DGA dismisses this as a myth. It even denies it. Nobody knows why – after all, the name fits like a glove.
The end of Alan Smithee was heralded in the 1997 mockumentary film An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn. In it, a filmmaker named Alan Smithee (played by Monty Python veteran Eric Idle) wants to have his name removed from the credits of the final product. Which isn’t so easy because his real name is the official pseudonym for such cases.
Although the film’s packed with well-known names such as Sylvester Stallone and Whoopie Goldberg, Burn Hollywood Burn seems to be a really bad piece of work. One where director Arthur Hiller was also dissatisfied with the final cut and had himself replaced by Alan Smithee.
In this sense, Alan Smithee probably won’t run out of work any time soon. Even if in the digital age it’s almost impossible to hide who’s actually behind a film. By the way, Alan Smithee didn’t write this article. It’s so good I put my name on it 😉.
Header image: Dino De Laurentiis Company
I'm a full-blooded dad and husband, part-time nerd and chicken farmer, cat tamer and animal lover. I would like to know everything and yet I know nothing. I know even less, but I learn something new every day. What I am good at is dealing with words, spoken and written. And I get to prove that here.
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