30 daft lies only parents could think up

Katja Fischer

30-11-2021

Translation: Veronica Bielawski

Let’s face it. All parents regularly tell little white lies to their children. Here’s a list of the most comical and absurd fibs – all in the service of parenting, of course.

White lies arise from a need

• You want to still the child’s fear of something.
• You don’t want a discussion – or want to at least shorten it.
• You want to keep the child’s faith in something.
• You want to make something more appealing.
• It's what you were taught.

Pinocchio is pervasive

With the help of my fellow editors, I’ve compiled a list of 30 white lies that we’ve used ourselves or heard in our childhood. The list is divided by situation and is by no means complete, so feel free to expand on it in the comments.

Dinner table tales

1. «If you don’t eat up, the weather will be bad tomorrow.»
2. «Carrots are good for your eyes.»
3. «If you swallow the gum, it’ll stay in your belly forever.»

Stories for sweet tooths

1. «No, this store doesn’t sell ice cream.»
2. «This chocolate’s for adults only; there’s alcohol in it.»
3. «I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me. And you can only pay for sweets in cash.»

Bedtime stories for sleepy parents

1. «All the other kids are already in bed.»
2. «The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner it’ll be morning.»
3. «Mommy and Daddy are tired, too. We’ve just got to do a quick clean-up, and we’ll be right in bed.»

Kiddos and chaotic shopping trips

1. «I left my wallet at home.»
2. «The vending machine is out of order.»
3. «The ice cream stand is closed today.»

Emergency lies on the road

1. «The car can only drive once everyone’s buckled.»
2. «If you don’t sit still this instant, you can get out and walk home!»
3. «We’re almost there.»

Anatomical art

1. «You can have the gummy bear if you manage to kiss yourself on the elbow.»
2. «If you tell lies, your nose will grow long like Pinocchio’s.»
3. «You’ll get a reward if you can run faster than Daddy.»

The trouble with technology

1. «I’m sorry, replacement batteries aren’t available for your siren toy.»
2. «Watch too much TV and your eyes will be shaped like squares.»
3. «There’s no bedtime story on TV tonight.»

Holiday fibs

1. «The Easter Bunny won’t come until you’re asleep.»
2. «Santa put the presents under the Christmas tree.»
3. «Santa Claus sees when you’ve been naughty.»

Lies about animals

1. «Your hamster’s in heaven now.»
2. «That cat on the side of the road is just sleeping.»
3. «We can’t get a dog because Daddy’s allergic.»

Universal lies

1. «The other kids also don’t/aren’t allowed to have that.»
2. «Unfortunately, you have to be at least X years old to do that.»
3. «When I was your age, I always listened to my parents.»

Certain fibs sound familiar? Got any other silly examples? Let us know in the comments.

Katja Fischer

Senior Editor

Katja.Fischer@digitecgalaxus.ch

Mom of Anna and Elsa, aperitif expert, group fitness fanatic, aspiring dancer and gossip lover. Often a multitasker and a person who wants it all, sometimes a chocolate chef and queen of the couch.

---

Guide

Practical solutions for everyday problems with technology, household hacks and much more.

Show all

These articles might also interest you